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Band 3.5

Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #phones
It is
a
Suggestion
an
undoubatable
too obvious to be doubted
indubitable
 fact that scientific devices
has completely changed
Suggestion
have completely changed
 the human's life in many ways. It is believed by some people that these inventions
has
Suggestion
have
 negative impact on society as they become less friendly and less sociable.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 agree with
this
 statement. To start with, there are numerous reasons people become less sociable.
Firstly
, people get addicted towards these applications as they do not want to move out during their leisure time because mobile phone make their life easier. To exemplify, these sites provide information about the things happening around the world.
As a result
, they do
not prefer to talk
Suggestion
prefer to not talk
 with their neighbours in their free times.
Secondly
, youngsters spend their much time on mobile phones
nd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 they don not spend time with their family members. So because of
this
 it would
also
 distract them from their study and they want to live alone.
As a
result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
 are suffering from many diseases
such
 as depression, tension. On the opposing side, there is no doubt mobile phones have negative
impact but
Accept comma addition
impact, but
 it
also connect
Suggestion
also connects
has also connected
 people with any corner of the world but
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that over indulgence is not good.
Although
people make
Accept comma addition
people, make
 new friends
online but
Accept comma addition
online, but
it
it is
it's
 less face to face
intreactions
a mutual or reciprocal action; interacting
interactions
interaction
instruction
. To conclude, it is true that mobile phone are
good source
Suggestion
a good source
 of
knowledge but
Accept comma addition
knowledge, but
 it would make people selfish and less sociable.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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