IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People should never eat meat because rising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #meat #animals #consumption
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It is sometimes argued that we should not ever consume
meat
 as animal farming is considered to be inhumane. I completely agree with the idea that
meat
 is important for our health and
food
 culture, and that farming
livestock
 could
also
 benefit themselves. There are several reasons why we need to eat
meat
 products.
Firstly
,
meat
 contains a wide array of nutrients utilized by the body for our growth, maintenance, and repair. To keep our body warm in freezing weather,
in particular
, people are advised to eat more red
meat
, namely beef.
Secondly
,
livestock
 farming has supplied us milk and eggs other than
meat
, and they are major contributing parts for
food
 variety in our balanced diets.
Finally
, products from farm-raised animals play a major contributing role in showing cultural tradition of every region by being indispensable ingredients in
regional cuisines
Suggestion
the regional cuisines
. I believe that animal exploitation is not immoral as
livestock
 may take advantage of
this
.
To begin
 with, animals living in farm seem to be happier than those living
in
Suggestion
with
 wildlife.
This
 is because they may not need to care about finding
food
 or being hunted by carnivores.
Moreover
, to produce high quality outputs, farmers are likely to treat their animals well.
For instance
, cows, which are raised for milk,
are listened
Suggestion
are listening
have listened
listen
 to music for relaxation, fed nutrient-dense
food
, and provided safe and comfortable living conditions. In conclusion, I disagree with the view of constraining our
meat
 consumption because I believe that animal farming is not only immoral but
also
 beneficial for those
livestock
.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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