IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Films can have effect on the children's education and teach them many things. Do you think it is always a positive influence? Discuss.

#films #effect #children #education #influence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Cinema has always played a crucial role in influencing the masses, be it in a positive or a negative way. Movies can have an
impact
Use synonyms
 on a
child
Use synonyms
's mind and
hence
Linking Words
 can mould them into a good or a bad person. In my opinion, pictures cannot always have a positive
impact
Use synonyms
 as there are different genres which have varied
content
Use synonyms
. It affects positive thoughts and normal mental processing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the case of a strictly 'A' rated adult
movie
Use synonyms
, which children often might want to watch out of curiosity.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a negative
impact
Use synonyms
 on their mind as a
child
Use synonyms
's mind is the most vulnerable during teenage.
For instance
Linking Words
, watching a
movie
Use synonyms
 scene which has an explicit
content
Use synonyms
 meant for 18 plus would definitely leave an imprint on their
brain which
Accept comma addition
brain, which
 in turn can force them to do something of the same nature.
This
Linking Words
 in turn could land them into trouble at
school
Use synonyms
 or college.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the movies which are based on social issues like "Clean India Campaign" and
also
Linking Words
 on technological advancements like "Mission Mars" could play an important role in motivating a
child
Use synonyms
 to go in for something big which will benefit the nation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, cinema can turn fatal for the physical well being too. Movies and web
content
Use synonyms
 which
as
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
is
 lots of action and violence involved gives a
child
Use synonyms
 the idea to bring it in the real life. He or she may try those action tricks seen in a
movie
Use synonyms
on
Suggestion
with
 their friends in
school
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a case in the newspapers of ABC
school
Use synonyms
,
Delhi where
Accept comma addition
Delhi, where
 a
child
Use synonyms
 twisted his friend's ear which caused him unconsciousness. Post investigation, the
school
Use synonyms
 found out that
this
Linking Words
 has been a result of movies as the
child
Use synonyms
 is a
movie
Use synonyms
 buff. While some people assert that movies
on
Suggestion
with
 violence and action can teach self-defence in order to protect themselves in case of any adversity, which may be true if the
content
Use synonyms
 is of quality. Conclusively, entertainment can be in any form, whether it is a role play,
movie
Use synonyms
 or a street play, it must convey the right message to
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
audience especially
Accept comma addition
audience, especially
 children who are on the lookout for adopting the ways and means to do
things
Suggestion
the things
 shown in a film.
Thus
Linking Words
, movies have different
content
Use synonyms
 and categories and
therefore
Linking Words
, cannot have positive
impact
Use synonyms
 always.
Submitted by Shreyans Aery on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • education
  • broaden
  • worldviews
  • diversity
  • moral lessons
  • development
  • behavior
  • documentaries
  • engaging
  • stereotypes
  • violence
  • detrimental
  • perceptions
  • excessive screen time
  • physical health
  • social skills
  • parental guidance
  • discern
  • fantasy
  • reality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: