IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
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In
this
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 day and age, the environment is becoming more polluted because one of the reasons is that the growth in making customer products. There are a
number
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 of causes of
this
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 and the problem can be resolved by several solutions. It is undeniable that some reasons of the production of goods have much discussed. The most obvious evidence is that factories discharge sewage into the ocean and exhaust fumes in the air. In fact, the processes of making goods need to release
waste
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 materials;
therefore
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, these
waste
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 materials exert adverse effects on the nature.
Furthermore
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, the appearance of factories and companies decrease the nature lands, including forests or villages.
For example
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, in a rural area of Vietnam, a large
number
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 of trees demolished in a forest is to erect factories with the aim of producing iron, which is used for manufacturing cars.
Hence
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, citizens in there will lose an amount of Oxy from the trees. There are a
number
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 of solutions to reduce the detrimental impacts.
First
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, governments should impose strict laws related to the discharge of
waste
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 to manufacturers. If the amount of
waste
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 and exhaust fumes is higher than regulatory amount, the factories or companies have to be punished.
This
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 leads to that the governments may control the
waste
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 and minimize the pollution.
Second
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, governments can request and encourage factories and the inhabitants grow plants. The factories need to grow an equal
number
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 of trees that they damaged at another place.
As a result
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, it can be balanced for the
number
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 of trees. In conclusion, the issue is derived from some causes, and a
number
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 of solutions can minimize the negative effects on the environment.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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