IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

#people #individuals #companies
The many major
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 around the world is increasingly facing
overpopulation
 problem
as a result
 of the choice of many people to live there.
This
essay
 will discuss the main causes of
overpopulation including
Accept comma addition
overpopulation, including
 better
job
 opportunities and
quality
 of
life
.
This
essay
 will
also
 suggest solutions to these
problems including
Accept comma addition
problems, including
 creating new
business
 occasions and proving same
life
 standards like other cities. People are looking for better
job
 opportunities.
In addition
,
they
of them or themselves
their
 desire to increase their
quality
 of
life
. In order to maintain their living costs, people need to earn money so that they may increase their
life
quality
.
For example
, some people are willing to possess a luxury
car and to live
Suggestion
car and live
 in a mansion after earning enough money. The result in
overpopulation
 because they want to change their
circumstance
Suggestion
circumstances
 by trying their chance in a challenging environment. Creating new
business
 occasions and providing same
life
 standards like other cities are both critical to mitigating
overpopulation
 in cities. If the same
business
 opportunities
with
Suggestion
by
provided
Suggestion
providing
 same
life
 standards like urban cities are available, people don’t attend a new adventure by trying their chance in urban cities.
For example
, the government may
do
engage in
make
 money investing for new start-up entrepreneurs or open new
job
 areas by hiring qualified persons, so people’s
life
quality
 will be increased because of developments in cities.
Therefore
, in order to reduce
overpopulation
, one must do
by
Suggestion
with
 creating new
business
 occasions and proving the same living standards as other cities. In conclusion, the many major
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 around the world is increasingly facing
overpopulation
 problem
as a result
 of the choice of many people to live there.
This
essay
 discussed how
overpopulation
 is caused by better
job
 opportunities and
quality
 of
life
.
This
essay
also
 discussed that the solutions to
this
 problem as creating new
business
 occasions and proving the same
life
 standards to other cities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: