Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

It is reckoned that highly qualified workers

such

as doctors, nurses and teachers should receive higher income that those working in ent

ertainment industry an

Suggestion

the entertainment industry

d sportsmen. Personally, I agree that not only professional car

eers but

Accept comma addition

careers, but

also

athletes and entertainers get high pay

Suggestion

paid

To begin

with, it is acknowledged that skilled workers

such

as doctors and engineers should be awarded lucrative income. In fact, professional careers are more likely to require hard work and commitment.

For example

, scientists tend to devote most of their time from early morning to late at night doing research and carrying out experiments.

Hence

, the scientific breakthroughs they make have contributed enormously to a more developed society. Another good example is teachers. Teachers are likely to have wei

ghty responsibility fo

Suggestion

a weighty responsibility

the weighty responsibility

r educating fut

ure workforce. T

Suggestion

the future workforce

he inspirations and knowledge teachers provide for

m th

Suggestion

for

from

e well-educated people, becoming promising driving workforce.

Nevertheless

, I strongly believe that people working in sports and entertainment industries are deserved to receive high wage.

Firstly

, sportsmen inspire the public about determination, hard work and the sense of competition.

For instance

, athletes may have to sacrifice their time with family and friends for advanced and high-level training on a daily basis that ordinary people are impossible to follow.

Secondly

, sportsmen and entertainers bring fame and name to their country. Take Korean idols as a good example. Korean girl or boy bands or actors and actresses have made eno

rmous wave of

Suggestion

an enormous wave

the enormous wave

enormous waves

trends in the whole Asia. A massive number of fans buy their idols’ pro

ducts and im

Accept comma addition

products, and

itate their sty

les.

Suggestion

style

Therefore

, Korea can enhance its image and popularity worldwide.

Thus

, there is no doubt that people who embark on a career in sports and entertainment should earn high income. In conclusion, it is rational that both high qualified workers and sportsmen and entertainers receive lucrative pay due to those con

tribution in

Suggestion

contributions

various aspects to their country.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best for the government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport per day, 7 day a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.