It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some

people

believe that taking

risks

in their life is an important thing to do, whether it is on personal choices or related to their career. I agreed to the argument,

due to

several reasons.

First,

taking a chance could lead us to explore new things and new passions.

Second,

taking a risk could be game-changing for some

people

Firstly

, by taking

risks

people

could discover a new passion in their

lives

According to

Ms Nena, a psychologist from Universitas Riau, many

people

mostly choose to continue their

lives

the same every single day, from work to social

lives

. A few

people

are satisfied with that, but the majority love to imagine how their

lives

change.

For instance

, imagine what if they have a different career, live in a different city, or make their child's deepest dream come true.

However

, not everyone has enough courage to do that because they trying to settle down with reality.

Thus

people

need to take a chance in their

lives

to discover, because it could lead them to step up from their comfort zone and find their passion.

Secondly

, taking

risks

could help someone's life become different and may lead us to new opportunities. JK. Rowling,

for instance

, took a risk by writing a Harry Potter novel and tried to send more than a hundred copies of the novel to publishing. Even though she kept getting rejected, Ms Rowling kept trying harder until the novel was accepted and years after that it became one of the most famous fiction novels in the world. Through these examples,

people

could learn that taking

risks

and believing in them could lead us to great opportunities that

people

could never have imagined before.

Therefore

, it is important to take

risks

for

people

because it could be game-changing.

To conclude

, I believe that

risks

are an important decision for

people

to take because it could be a chance to discover their passion, and

also

it could be a way to discover other opportunities in their

lives

Submitted by dhiyaghassanif on Fri Dec 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to address potential disadvantages of taking risks to provide a balanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to enhance the variety of linking words to improve the flow and connections between ideas.

Task Achievement

Ensure that any statistics or quotes are clearly referenced or stated as examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You use specific examples, such as the story of J.K. Rowling, effectively to support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

You maintain a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next, making your essay easy to follow.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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