IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. some people think it is fully justified while other think it is unfair discuss both views and give your own opinion

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
These days popular sportsmen are earning a huge amount of
money
 in terms of their fee for playing, the ads they are doing or by being the brand ambassador of famous brands. According to one school of thought, it is justified to earn more
money
 by players while others believe that it is not fair for professionals from other fields. In
this
 essay, I would like to discuss both the views and give my own opinion. On one hand, players have to work really very hard to make a mark for themselves. They are idols for the younger generation and
thus
 are under too much pressure to succeed. They are famous and in demand only until they are performing well. As soon as their performance is not up to the mark, people no longer like them and they become just a name in the history.
For instance
, Vinod Kambli used to be a famous Indian opening batsman. Unless and until he was scoring centuries and was helping the team to win, he was getting a lot of
money
 through advertisements and even his fee was very high. But as soon as he started performing poorly, he was out of the Indian cricket team. He lost both his popularity and
money
.
This
 clearly indicates that the lives of sports people in terms of popularity are vulnerable and need a lot of hard work to maintain it.
On the contrary
, successful people in other fields
also
 worked hard to reach the milestone. Even
then
 they do not get what they deserve. They are not as famous and rich as sports persons are.
For example
, K.Sivan, who is the chief of the Indian Space Research Organisation, is a very successful scientist and has contributed a lot in India's success in its space programs, but still he is not very famous and is not even considered for being the brand ambassador. Even his pay is not high as compared to cricketers or other players.
This
 is really unfair because people like K.Sivan deserves the appreciation of the country and its people and they should be given the same status as players of different sports. Eventually, it can be recapitulated that
although
 famous individuals from different fields do work hard to be successful but still I feel that sportsmen are idolised by millions of people and in order to fulfil their expectations, they have to go beyond their limits to be there and
thus
 deserve the extra
money
 they are earning in comparison to other people.
Submitted by abhawalia4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: