IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists traveling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
#show #japanese #tourists #australia #tourist #market
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The supplied graphs compare the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 who travelled
different
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to different
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 countries from 1985 to 1995 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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also
Linking Words
give
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gives
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 data on
Australia
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's portion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japanese
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 visitors.
According to
Linking Words
 the first bar graph, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 abroad
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased
in
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apply
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each year except for 1991.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1985, around 5
million
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tourists
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 from Japan travelled abroad and after a decade
this
Linking Words
number
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 more than trebled. About 2
million
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Japanese
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tourists
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 went to
Australia
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 in 1985. From 1985
till
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to
show examples
 1988, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 in
Australia
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 increased sharply. Beginning from 2
million
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tourists
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 in 1985, it reached
to
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apply
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around 5
million
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 in 1988. In 1989, the
number
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 fell slightly but from 90 to 94, the
number
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 went up.
However
Linking Words
, in 1994 the
number
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 of people who went to
Australia
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 decreased a bit. The two graphs represent the steady increase
of
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in
show examples
 total
Japanese
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tourists
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 travelling
different
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to different
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 countries
as well as
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
tourists
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 visiting
Australia
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in Particular
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, japanese, tourists, australia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist market
  • overseas travel
  • tourism industry
  • international campaigns
  • economic prosperity
  • travel preferences
  • market share
  • fluctuations
  • peak
  • trend
  • attracting
  • destination
  • variability
  • contributing factors
  • currency exchange rates
  • speculate
  • tourism policies
  • competitive markets
  • popularity
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