IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smoker #places
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There is absolutely no doubt about the health threats
consumption
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 of
tobacco
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 poses to smokers and passive smokers around them. There are divergent views as to whether the banning of smoking in public places is the right decision or not. While there are some concerns about the health risks
consumption
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 of
tobacco
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 causes, I disagree that the use in public places should be prohibited.
To begin
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 with, a restriction on public
consumption
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 of cigarette would have a negative effect on the profitability of the manufacturers and the
government
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. Production as a whole is a capital-intensive business and investors would have put in a lot of money to set up the businesses. The investors deserve a return on their investments. More so,
the less profitable
Suggestion
the least profitable
 these businesses are, the lesser the taxes they are able to pay to the
government
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 annually.
This
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 is because
tobacco
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 is highly taxed in most jurisdictions and a ban on the public
consumption
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 would likely reduce its use which would
then
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 reduce
government
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 revenue from sales tax.
In addition
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, the cost of compliance to new laws is usually very expensive. The
government
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 would need to embark on some
infrastructural
Suggestion
 development that would help them with monitoring compliance and successful conviction of offenders. They would probably have to set up a court to attend to cases of noncompliance. These would likely be funded using taxpayers money that could be utilized for
more critical
Suggestion
most critical
 aspects of the economy
such
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 as education and transportation. In conclusion,
although
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tobacco
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 is considered to be a leading cause of cancer for consumers and people around them, a ban on public
consumption
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 would be detrimental to the economy as a whole. Not only would it reduce
government
Use synonyms
 revenue, compliance would
also
Linking Words
 come at a huge cost.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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