IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Q) Nowadays more and more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive development or negative development?

#q #people #face #development
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Socialization through social network sites is becoming increasingly popular. An increasing number of people these days prefer the internet to get socialize rather than face to face communication. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative trend as it leads to isolation and potentially harmful situations in the life of an individual. One serious problem that can arise due to socialization through the internet is that it can make people isolated. As people spend more time on these websites and social media platforms, they fail to interact with their family and friends.
This
Linking Words
 is an alarming scenario which detaches people from society and eventually leads them to many problems
such
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 as depression and other psychological ailments.
For example
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, one of the studies made by the Indian Medical Association found that, If a person spends more time to get socialize over the internet, his brain functions are more susceptible to get retarded. Another issue is that meeting people on the social media platform is often risky.
In other words
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, it is often difficult to find relationships that are g
enuine
Suggestion
genuinely
in the cyber world where people most of the times assume fake identities.
This
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 is a pressing concern for teenagers who are impressionable and can lead them to dangerous situations
such
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 as getting exploited physically and mentally.
Furthermore
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, as these interactions are in a virtual world, parents have no way to monitor their children
For instance
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, according to a news report which was published by Times of India in 2018 twenty percent of children who became victims of child pornography were trapped through social media sites. To conclude,
although
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 socialization through social networking sites has become more popular, it has brought too many issues for
this
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 to be considered as a positive trend.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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