IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions
Some would argue that the number of museums takes
entry
 fees, whereas some others are free of charge.
This
 essay will argue that despite there being some demerits of charging fees for admission, benefits of being charged for
entry
 in museums outweigh any drawbacks. When people get charged with
entry
 tickets of the museums, the number of people visit the museum will most likely to get reduced.
This
 is because, nowadays, people are more incline towards technological stuffs. If children have a choice between museums and video games,
then
 they definitely select video games.
For example
, 70% of the people choose to do different stuffs
such
 as going for trips and parks
instead
 of visiting museums reported in our a survey in the US. In my point of view, charged entries in the museums decreases the profit margin which might help to maintain the properties which is very hard get because the people are less likely to visit the place which is boring and paid.
However
, there is one strong point as a major advantage for paid entries in the museums which is the maintenance. The government has other major issues to solve so that they are less likely to pay for the maintenance, but the money which is collected as an
entry
 fee are fruitful to maintain the buildings of the museums and by investing them into the right places, which attracts people to look into it
also
 very great to raise the fund and popularity. A good reference for
this
 is that, 75% of the museums in the Germany are in excellent conditions which all are self-funded. In my opinion,
this
 is like an opportunity to get funds to maintain the structures of the museums which are worthwhile and eclipses any cons of paid
entry
 in the museums. In conclusion, getting funds for the maintenance far outweigh the supposed disadvantage of fewer people visit to the museum while there are paid
entry
 in the museums.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
What to do next:
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