Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons. What are the positive and negative aspects.

#culture #world #aspects

With

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modernization, the culture throughout the globe

is appearing

Wrong verb form

appears

show examples

identical to the

people

. It has often

debated

Add a missing verb

been debated

show examples

that

this

trend affects the traditions of a nation

while

others believe that its positive sides are propitious to the community. The essay will highlight the causes of the trend followed by benefits to the public and authorities with relevant examples. The first and foremost reason is that

people

are migrating to other

countries

for education and career opportunities. They follow and respect the cultures and behaviours of the new country.

For instance

, in the technological era, students want to pursue higher certification in specialized universities, they even apply

Change preposition

show examples

abroad universities.

Thus

, after completing

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

, they prefer to settle in a new country.

Furthermore

, immigrants celebrate migrated country festivals with

same

Add an article

the same

show examples

enthusiasm. I believe there are several benefits of cultural and traditional similarities all over the world.

Firstly

economic

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

development of the community will improve with the increase in businesses with other nations having similar trends.

People

across the globe share the same fashion, food, and other area of interest.

Secondly

, developed

countries

will invest in foreign exchanges with the diversity of their culture in the world.

Therefore

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

will improve with the advent of new

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

as well as

by adopting multicultural skills.

To conclude

, in my opinion, similarities in culture across the world will be advantageous to the individual nation

along with

other

countries

. Cultural diversity differences will be reduced, which will be supportive for an individual living in a foreign nation.

Moreover

, globalization will enhance the economic growth of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

developing

countries

by creating international trade business and other employment options.

Tue Sep 10 2019

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly summarize the main points of your essay and provide a clear sense of closure to your reader. Use topic sentences and transitions to connect ideas throughout the essay for improved coherence and cohesion.

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt but could benefit from providing a more comprehensive response with deeper analysis of the reasons and impacts of cultural similarity around the world. Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the prompt in a balanced way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons. What are the positive and negative aspects.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think that government should spend money on faster public transportation, while others think there are other more important priorities such as healthcare and the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?