IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantage and disadvantage of tourist who visits such places?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays an increasing number of tourists are showing their interest
to visit
Change preposition
in visiting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries with adverse weather situations, in order to curb their hunger
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 exploration and adventure. The following essay will discuss the merits and demerits of
such
Linking Words
 circumstances
along with
Linking Words
 providing the opinion. To start with, it benefits them
to relieve
Change preposition
by relieving
show examples
 their mind and body from the hectic and monotonous lifestyle.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these places are chosen to be visited to satisfy the adventurous mindset of the tourists.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps them to fight and control their fears which had settled deep down in their hearts since childhood and teenage years.
A
Change the article
The
show examples
 latest survey carried
by
Change preposition
out by
show examples
 the students of Oxford University stated that more than 60%
candidates
Change preposition
of candidates
show examples
 mentioned their interest in exploring
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of places.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the incidents of death cannot be resisted
while
Linking Words
 staying
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
such
Linking Words
 inhabitable places.
In addition
Linking Words
, the non-sustainable and adverse climate conditions or prolonged diseases apart from the lack of food and potable water. A recent study on BBC network channel has illustrated that the chances of death of newcomers have risen significantly in
last
Linking Words
 10 years because of various ailments, hunger and thirst. In a nutshell, it seems that more and more people are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 interested in going to spots like Antarctica or
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert, but the consequences cannot be ignored during their stay.
Whereas
Linking Words
, there ought to be proper arrangement of shelter, food and drinking water, which in turn will prove beneficial for their lives.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
. It can be stated that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive and coherent structure. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and improve overall flow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Remote areas
  • Unique experiences
  • Personal growth
  • Resilience
  • Adaptability
  • Local economies
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental degradation
  • Ecosystems
  • Climate change
  • Specialized equipment
  • Accessibility
  • Personal safety
  • Isolation
  • Extreme conditions
  • Employment opportunities
  • Cultural exchange
What to do next:
Look at other essays: