people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individual and on society?
According to
the survey conducted by WHO the average sleep hours
of people
has
decreased by 12 % from the recommended Change the verb form
have
hours
needed for an individual. This
essay discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
on
the reasons for the same and its effects on individual and on Change preposition
apply
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
People
sleep less nowadays because of cell phone usage, which has drastically increased over the years, in turn
it is quietly squeezing up the sleeping Add the comma(s)
turn,
hours
that a normal person need
for his Change the verb form
needs
well being
. With the advent of the 21st century, technology has taken giant leaps Add a hyphen
well-being
particularly
in terms of communication whose fruits or byproducts are these gadgets which have smartly entered into our Add the comma(s)
, particularly
life
, and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
playing
a crucial role in how we are connected, and interact with each other today. Having said that the downside to it has been its overdose. Wrong verb form
play
People
have been using these gadgets in a way that compromises and intrudes into their private space. There has been a survey conducted recently by a reputed newspaper daily "The Hindu" which suggests that people
's cell phone usage has increased 10
% compromising Change preposition
by 10
into
their private Change preposition
apply
hours
gradually depriving them of required
Correct article usage
the required
hours
of sleep to reenergise
themselves. Sleeping less can pose many risks for Correct your spelling
re-energise
energise
people
in
generally impacting their Change preposition
apply
overall
ability to think clearly. WHO has suggested that minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
8
Change preposition
of 8
hours
sleep
Change preposition
of sleep
hours
required for an individual to remain healthy. There are other health disorders noticed like irritability, attention deficit, hormonal
imbalances, which if prolonged for say next 10 to 15 years continuously can create our next progenies who are born with disorders like ATD ( Attention Deficit Disorders) which means Correct word choice
and hormonal
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
having
greater attention span. All these attributes might impact Change the verb form
to have
be
the Unnecessary verb
apply
society
goals of producing evolved human beings in future. Change noun form
society's
Honestly
Add a comma
Honestly,
its
a high time we look at Correct pronoun usage
it
people
well being
as the top Verb problem
well-being
most
priority and for that we as a society must invest our resources in building the necessary infrastructure that will cater to Correct quantifier usage
apply
evolve
Wrong verb form
evolving
the
human consciousness. We might employ scientifically tried and tested methods to achieve these goals like practicing yoga which covers all dimensions that Correct article usage
apply
includes
mental, emotional and physical.Change the verb form
include
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite