people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individual and on society?

According to
the survey conducted by WHO the average sleep
hours
of
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
decreased by 12 % from the recommended
hours
needed for an individual.
This
essay
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons for the same and its effects on individual and on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
People
sleep less nowadays because of cell phone usage, which has drastically increased over the years, in
turn
Add the comma(s)
turn,
show examples
it is quietly squeezing up the sleeping
hours
that a normal person
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
for his
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
. With the advent of the 21st century, technology has taken giant leaps
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
in terms of communication whose fruits or byproducts are these gadgets which have smartly entered into our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, and
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a crucial role in how we are connected, and interact with each other today. Having said that the downside to it has been its overdose.
People
have been using these gadgets in a way that compromises and intrudes into their private space. There has been a survey conducted recently by a reputed newspaper daily "The Hindu" which suggests that
people
's cell phone usage has increased
10
Change preposition
by 10
show examples
% compromising
into
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apply
show examples
their private
hours
gradually depriving them of
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
hours
of sleep to
reenergise
Correct your spelling
re-energise
energise
themselves. Sleeping less can pose many risks for
people
in
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apply
show examples
generally impacting their
overall
ability to think clearly. WHO has suggested that
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
8
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of 8
show examples
hours
sleep
Change preposition
of sleep
show examples
hours
required for an individual to remain healthy. There are other health disorders noticed like irritability, attention deficit,
hormonal
Correct word choice
and hormonal
show examples
imbalances, which if prolonged for say next 10 to 15 years continuously can create our next progenies who are born with disorders like ATD ( Attention Deficit Disorders) which means
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
show examples
having
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to have
show examples
greater attention span. All these attributes might impact
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
goals of producing evolved human beings in future.
Honestly
Add a comma
Honestly,
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
a high time we look at
people
well
being
Verb problem
well-being
show examples
as the top
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
priority and for that we as a society must invest our resources in building the necessary infrastructure that will cater to
evolve
Wrong verb form
evolving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human consciousness. We might employ scientifically tried and tested methods to achieve these goals like practicing yoga which covers all dimensions that
includes
Change the verb form
include
show examples
mental, emotional and physical.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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