Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Giving gifts is

one

major way humans appreciate

one

another. It is thought by some that monetary gifts are the best for young adults, others believe that there are other ways to

reward

them. In my opinion, I believe that these children can be duly appreciated with other forms of

gift

. On the

one

hand, some people think that because

money

is more valuable, it should be the most suitable

reward

for children. To put in another way, young adults these days have an endless list of wants and needs, any opportunity they have to receive a

gift

they would prefer

money

since they can use it for whatever they desire or have been saving for.

Moreover

, if a youngster

is given

Suggestion

gives

gift

that is

not monetary, it might be useless, especially if the items are something they do not find fascinating.

For example

, during recent research conducted by Cambridge College, students were asked if they preferred

money

or receiving other forms of

gift

. 70 per cent went for

money

because of the countless things they would be able to purchase with it.

On the other hand

, it is thought by some that in order to prevent greed, other forms of

gift

should be given and I agree.

This

is because if a child is constantly rewarded for hard work with cash all the time, a day when the giver does not have

this

form of appreciation, the child may out of being

greedy resort

Suggestion

a greedy resort

to illegal means to get

money

. In order to prevent

this

, other forms of gifts like giving the young

one

a new phone, or a trip to his favourite fun spot should be encouraged. In conclusion, a child may be availed different opportunities when given a monetary

reward

; in my opinion, I believe that in order to prevent crimes being committed by the youngster other forms of

reward

should be accorded.

Submitted by Mabel on Thu Sep 12 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial responsibility
budget
save
informed spending decisions
personal preferences
practical and efficient
unwanted or inappropriate gifts
impersonal
emotional value
thoughtfulness
personal consideration
wise financial decisions
frivolously
lasting memories and experiences
educational courses
hobby-related equipment
long-lasting positive impact
fostering interests and skills

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Fully explain your ideas

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