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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #money #gift #teenagers
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Giving gifts is
one
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 major way humans appreciate
one
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 another. It is thought by some that monetary gifts are the best for young adults, others believe that there are other ways to
reward
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 them. In my opinion, I believe that these children can be duly appreciated with other forms of
gift
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. On the
one
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 hand, some people think that because
money
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 is more valuable, it should be the most suitable
reward
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 for children. To put in another way, young adults these days have an endless list of wants and needs, any opportunity they have to receive a
gift
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 they would prefer
money
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 since they can use it for whatever they desire or have been saving for.
Moreover
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, if a youngster
is given
Suggestion
gives
 a
gift
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that is
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 not monetary, it might be useless, especially if the items are something they do not find fascinating.
For example
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, during recent research conducted by Cambridge College, students were asked if they preferred
money
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 or receiving other forms of
gift
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. 70 per cent went for
money
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 because of the countless things they would be able to purchase with it.
On the other hand
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, it is thought by some that in order to prevent greed, other forms of
gift
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 should be given and I agree.
This
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 is because if a child is constantly rewarded for hard work with cash all the time, a day when the giver does not have
this
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 form of appreciation, the child may out of being
greedy resort
Suggestion
a greedy resort
 to illegal means to get
money
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. In order to prevent
this
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, other forms of gifts like giving the young
one
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 a new phone, or a trip to his favourite fun spot should be encouraged. In conclusion, a child may be availed different opportunities when given a monetary
reward
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; in my opinion, I believe that in order to prevent crimes being committed by the youngster other forms of
reward
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 should be accorded.
Submitted by Mabel on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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