IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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University
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 is the place for learning academic
skills
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 and developing specific knowledge. Some people claim that
university
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students
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 need to focus on specialized areas,
while
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 others believe
students
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 should learn a variety of
subjects
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. I firmly believe that
students
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 should learn a wide range of academic themes at
University
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. In
this
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 essay, I illustrate both views and reasons for my opinion. It is true that the student does not have enough
time
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 to explore different
subjects
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 in a limited
time
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 scale.
For example
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, medical
students
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 need to take not only classroom
subjects
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 but
also
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 practical courses during a certain
time
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 period. In that case, they are not able to spend their precious
time
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 taking additional courses.
On the other hand
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, learning additional
subjects
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 is beneficial for professionals. If
students
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 learn different languages, they can absorb knowledge from worldwide.
For example
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, some medical books are written in German,
hence
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, it is beneficial for
students
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 to learn specific medical terms which
is
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are
show examples
 written in German.
Furthermore
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, with regard to communication is
also
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 a crucial aspect for a professional doctor. Since communication is the basis for interacting with patients, learning communication
skills
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 at the college level can be useful to start practice at the hospital. These unrelated
skills
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 are
also
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 needed in the work environment,
therefore
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,
university
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students
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 should learn different
subjects
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 to widen their knowledge and
skills
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. In conclusion,
although
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University
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 is a place for learning specific areas, learning a variety of
subjects
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 can be beneficial for
students
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 in the future.
For
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this
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 reason, I claim that
students
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 need to explore as many as
subjects
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 during they are
students
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, as this will improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on making transitions between paragraphs smoother to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states both views and your opinion, giving the reader a good understanding of the essay's direction.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both views related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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