IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The mass media including TV, Radio and Newspaper influence our society and shape our opinions and characters. What is your opinion?

#mass #media #tv #radio #newspaper #influence #society #shape #characters
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Mass
 media
plays
Suggestion
play
 an
indispensible
not to be dispensed with; essential
indispensable
 role in our lives.It has changed significantly from past times. The main purpose of
mass
 media
is ciculate
Suggestion
has circulated
is circulate
is circulated
circulates
information
 to
large number
Suggestion
a large number
large numbers
 of people in less time. It is possible with
help
Suggestion
the help
 of
mass
 media. It has positive and negative effects which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraph. To embark with,
mass
 media
has made
Suggestion
have made
 easier access to
information
of
Suggestion
about
on
 different region around the world.In earlier times, newspaper were
only source
Suggestion
the only source
 of
information but
Accept comma addition
information, but
 now
information
 is
equpped
provided or fitted out with what is necessary or useful or appropriate
equipped
 with latest technology and innovation of computer and internet.
Also
,
Accept space
,
Political parties use
mass
 media for their election campaign make people favour to
caste
the actors in a play
cast
 their precious vote.
Moreover
, product advertisements are being done with the help of newspaper
,
Accept space
,
internet
,
Accept space
,
radio for business promotion to attract customers towards
product
Suggestion
the product
.
On the other hand
,
mass media
Suggestion
the mass media
is
Suggestion
are also introduced
have also introduced
also introduce
are also introducing
also
 introduced deprave and nefarious elements in the society. The
information
 we gather from
this
 means can
also
 mislead people and cause damage to the society.
Adolscents
Suggestion
Adolescents
 adopt the famous
celebrities
Suggestion
celebrity
celebrity's
 lifestyle without having proper knowledge which
cause
Suggestion
causes
 harm to their health.
Moreover
, people misuse
information
 and that can
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to
rumors
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumours
 and even create violence.
For instance
,
information
 or posts on social media like
Face book
Suggestion
Facebook
 and Twitter are unsafe as it can create problems in the on the name
on
Suggestion
of
 religion or anything. To conclude, revolution in
mass
 communication has provided enormous benefits to
us but
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us, but
, if it will not use effectively, it can be detrimental to the whole globe because it has an influential power over the people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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