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Band 5.5

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?

#food #countries #feel #trend
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in availability of fast
food
. Some laud for its convenience and relatively low cost,
however
, in
this
 essay I will argue that
this
 kind of
food
 is
deterimental
(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury
detrimental
 both to
induviduals
a human being
individuals
 who consume it and society in larger scale. There are two primary idea which I will explain
further
.
First
 of all, there is
undeniable fact
Suggestion
the undeniable fact
an undeniable fact
 that excess consuming of fast
food
 could lead to serious health problem.
Food
such
 as chicken wings, french fires and hamburgers which incredibly high in fat and salt may be responsible for ailments as high blood pressure, obesity and disease.
Moreover
,
although
 I
certain
Suggestion
certainly
 agree that fast
food
 is both affordable and delicious, the cost treating
those
denotes a person or thing
this
 kind of illness will much more significant than the price of
food
 itself.
In other words
, while fast
food
give
Suggestion
gives
 convenience for consumer in
short term
Suggestion
the short term
, negative effect unavoidable for
long term
Suggestion
the long term
.
Further
 and more importantly, fast
food
 restaurant
deliberately attempt
Suggestion
deliberately attempts
 to attract
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 in order to shape their future eating habits. On particularly good
exmaple
an item of information that is typical of a class or group
example
 of
this
 is the character Ronald McDonald
always wearing
Suggestion
always wears
is always wearing
 bright colour and giving smiles
everytime
Suggestion
every time
. Having grown up with fast
food
everyday
Suggestion
every day
, people
are
Suggestion
is
 more likely to get used to eating hotdog or hamburger for their daily meal.
It
Suggestion
It's
also
 interesting to note that fast
food
 restaurant provides playground and frequently hold birthday party in order to attract more children and
also
 their parents. By way of conclusion, I believe that fast
food
 restaurant will become more popular in the future as the pace of life increase. Given the public health problem that may associated with
this
 trend, I believe that public education should give campaign to society about the danger in excess
counsume
a person who uses goods or services
consumer
 of fast
food
 so people could get
awarness
having knowledge of
awareness
 to preserve their healthy eating habits.
Submitted by ihsan.aviangga on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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