IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unabled to continue doing this work. Write a letter to your manager of the organization where you have been working. #describe the work you have been doing #explain why you can no longer do this work #recommend another person choice interested in the work.

#work #community #manager #organization #person #choice
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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing in order to about my voluntary
work
 that unfortunately I cannot continue it. As I mentioned, I
work
 in charity affairs about providing poverty people's food. I have worked in it
since
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for
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 three years. In fact, my responsibility is
about packing
Change preposition
to pack
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 food in suitable containers. When I
have done
Wrong verb form
did
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 it, it was so peaceful activity and convenient for me good Sense.
Although
,
this
 kind of
work
 is my favourite,
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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 it would be so upsetting.
Whereas
Correct word choice
apply
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I
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 a horrible accident
last
 month, unfortunately, I
had broken
Wrong verb form
broke
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 my shoulder. So, I cannot
work
a
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for a
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long time,
besides
, I have
come
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to come
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at
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to
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work
 after my main job time every day. Actually, Heavy
work
 is not suitable
in
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for
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 my condition. I have to be aware of leaving it with me.
Furthermore
, if you do not have sufficient volunteers, I can introduce a person, who enjoys
of
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apply
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charity activities. I know him because, he is my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 and his time is free, because of his retirement, so there is not any restriction. I look for to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jach Brown
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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greeting and closing
Ensure you use appropriate greetings and sign-offs for formal letters. 'Dear Sir/Madam' is correct, but 'I look for to hearing from you' should be 'I look forward to hearing from you'. 'Yours faithfully' is suitable following 'Dear Sir/Madam'.
logical structure
Maintain a logical structure within the letter, with a clear introduction, development, and conclusion, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea that progresses the overall message of the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Use cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas together more effectively so that the letter flows smoothly from one point to the next.
complete response
Address all parts of the task, providing detailed and relevant information about the voluntary work you've been doing, why you can no longer continue, and a recommendation for a replacement.
suitable writing tone
Use a consistent, formal tone throughout your letter as it is a formal communication with your manager. Avoid contractions ('I'm', 'can't', etc.) and use complete words ('I am', 'cannot', etc.).
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