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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
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Currently, it is true that the way children spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 has been changed by modem technology. While
this
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 has several benefits, I believe that the drawbacks far outweigh them. On the one hand, there are some advantages of children spending their spare
time
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 on advanced technologies.
Firstly
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, many children tend to enjoy playing computer games, and
such
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 games might help improve their cognitive development.
For example
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,
strategic
Suggestion
strategy
 games require players to be good at problem solving and be able to deal with unexpected situations, so children who
play these
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play, these
 games can better their logical thinking and problem-solving skills.
Secondly
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, since the source of online information is huge and readily available, young people might benefit from early exposure to the Internet. If people are able to browse the Internet at a young age, they can start their learning process earlier and
as a result
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 can advance their knowledge as they grow up.
However
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, I would argue that the advantages discussed above are outweighed by the disadvantages. One main drawback is that children who enjoy spending
time
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 in front of the computer screen are often reluctant to do exercise. Low physical activity levels are likely to result in children becoming overweight, and in turn they would end up being obese.
In addition
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, some games tempt people to continue playing for hours, which could lead to gaming addiction. In role-playing games,
for instance
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, people might need to stay in front of the computer for several hours in order to progress to higher levels, and
therefore
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 children may spend an excessive amount of
time
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 on games. In conclusion, while there are some advantages of children spending
time
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 on advanced technologies, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more significant.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
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