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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that criminal should be imprisoned, while others clean that they should be imparted with education and job training. What do you think how criminal should be treated? Give your opinion.

#people #education #job
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Punishment should vary as per age, gender and the circumstances under which
crime
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 is committed, for felons, severe punishments are justifiable, while in case of petty
crime
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, rehabilitation works well.
Hence
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, I assured that criminals should be adjudged as per severity of the
crime
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.
To begin
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 with, nobody is criminal by birth, but the circumstances and situations of the life make them criminals,
such
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 people are a perennial nuisance to the society, they deserve judicial execution. To give an example, Kasab the terrorist who was executed as he was involved in the notorious terrorist attack on Taz Hotel in Mumbai, that stands as an epitome.
Moreover
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,
such
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 punishments are menacing for the criminals that deters them indulge in
further
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crime
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. To give an example, accused of Delhi gang rape case work condemn that frightening for other offenders.
However
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,
although
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 felons deserve severe punishments, but not all, as there are some criminals who are involved in
crime
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 due to financial crises and they deserve a fair chance to rectify their errors.
Secondly
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, education leads to edification that will eradicate
crime
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.
Lastly
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, job training helps them who overcome financial crisis. Owing to
such
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 reasons
such
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 criminals deserve rehabilitation. Agglomerating, all the points elaborated above it can be concluded that, “Criminals are victims who create victims” should be treated as per severeness of the
crime
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Submitted by kartik on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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