It is often said that it is not necessary to have a tertiary education to become a successful businessman. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

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A common belief of the society is in order to gain significant achievements in the business sector one must not necessarily need to finish its higher

education

Use synonyms

. I my opinion, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

particular idea. One of the main reasons that supports

this

Linking Words

statement is the real world examples we have. There are many entrepreneurs around the world who became successful without finishing their tertiary

education

Use synonyms

Lets

Suggestion

Let's

take the inventor of the Microsoft

for instance

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

he is a college dropout, he

manged

be successful; achieve a goal

managed

to hold the top seat of the world's largest software company for a number of years. Another similar example is founder of

electronic equipment company

Suggestion

an electronic equipment company

the Apple.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is evident that university

education

Use synonyms

is somewhat insignificant when it's come to the business sector.

Moreover

Linking Words

, to be a successful entrepreneur one must require to have creative and innovative thoughts rather than formal

education

Use synonyms

. The business people identify the human needs and challenges. And

therefore

Linking Words

they try to address them using their skills, which opens new opportunities for them. Evidently, involvement of university

education

Use synonyms

is very less in

this

Linking Words

process.

In addition

Linking Words

, today's higher

education

Use synonyms

is more focused on professional perspectives than producing entrepreneurs.

Thus

Linking Words

curriculum

Suggestion

the curriculum

of the universities

are mainly target

Suggestion

is mainly targeting

mainly targets

is mainly targeted

has mainly targeted

the knowledge of a certain occupation.

As a

Linking Words

result they

Accept comma addition

result, they

do not support to become successful in businesses. In conclusion, to become a successful businessman a person always does not need to go through

traditional

Suggestion

the traditional education system

a traditional education system

education

Use synonyms

system, which leads to end up with a degree or even higher qualifications. Basically, one required to develop its innovative and creative skills in order to gain achievement in

this

Linking Words

particular field.

Submitted by n.madubashana on Sun Sep 15 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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It is often said that it is not necessary to have a tertiary education to become a successful businessman. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think it is better to wear uniforms at workplace? Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that preventing an illness is better than curing it. Researching and treating diseases is too costly, so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

These days it is neither possible nor desirable for most people to stay in the same job throughout their working life. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?