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Band 3.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period
On
this
 point
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
 we could see the statistics of multiple enquiries received in certain city
Tourist
 Information
Office
 over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half a year in 2011. It is obvious from the data given from the diagram that the most unpopular way for people trying to connect
Tourist
 Information
office
 was
writing
Change preposition
by writing
show examples
 an email. People who are using
this
 type of communication with
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
liked
Wrong verb form
like
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 winter
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 from January to February more to plan their holidays. We can see numbers which talking us that they are calling from 800 to 650 times a
month
 till March and
then
 just falling lower and lower
stopped
Wrong verb form
stopping
show examples
 on nearly 370 calls a
month
. Opposite, the most popular way to call the
Tourist
Office
 was
meeting
Change preposition
by meeting
show examples
travel
Correct article usage
a travel
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 agent in
person
. The number of
such
customers
 was growing exponentially from January to June 2011.
This
 type of people was more loyal to
plan
Wrong verb form
planning
show examples
 their trips in Spring or Summer
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 we can see represented by 1200 to 1900 meetings
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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placed in
office
 from April to June. Only the
second
 place
on
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apply
show examples
took the telephone type of communication. For the
all reviewed
Add a hyphen
all-reviewed
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 period there were many more phone calls than emails, but a little bit
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 than meetings in
person
.
From
Change preposition
Of
show examples
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three types of communications, enquiries received by telephone were the most homogenous
distributed
Correct word choice
and distributed
show examples
 in time. There were not
such
 leaps as
in
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
person
 meeting numbers. These
customers
 were active quite often. But as the
customers
 who talked with travel
agent
Fix the agreement mistake
agents
show examples
 personally, they
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferred
warm
Correct article usage
a warm
show examples
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 to plan their holidays
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can see comparing
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
800 to 1000 calls from January to April 2011 to numbers increasing to 1600 calls a
month
 from April to June. In conclusion, we can say that there were more
customers
 that were interested in
tourist
 information for Spring and summer months than winter months and most of
enquiries
Add an article
the enquiries
show examples
 were received by phone or in
person
, not by letter or email.
Submitted by wav.tatarskii on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourist, office, month, person, customers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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