Some people believe that the academic success of students depends on good teachers at schools. Others think that it depends on the attitude and determination of the students. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Whether
students
'
success
in studies relies on diligent
teachers
or
students
' mindset and dedication towards academics influence their achievements, has become a debatable topic among people.
Although
good mentors facilitate the learning environment and mentees' thought processes
along with
determination play a significant role in achieving better grades, I think the cooperative efforts of both parties would enhance the academic performance of
students
. On the one hand, proponents of having intellectual tutors emphasise that tutors create a conducive learning environment. To justify,
teachers
encourage
students
to comprehend the course content by creating an analytic ability, clarifying their doubts and adopting a simplified approach to assist
students
in learning effectively.
This
way influences
students
to study, resulting in good grades.
For example
, most of the
students
of all branches of Saint Xavier School in India get more than 80% marks in their finals
this
year because their diligent
teachers
have influenced them to study.
On the other hand
, those
advocate
Correct pronoun usage
who advocate
show examples
the essence of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
of mind and perseverance of
students
to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
academic
success
claim that
students
should be interested in studies. If
students
have no desire to learn, they might not be able to understand the course material.
This
may lead to failure in the examination even if they are intelligent.
Therefore
, perseverance is imperative to achieve academic
success
. In my opinion, the blend of good
teachers
and a positive mindset of
students
creates a path for academic achievement.
This
is because
while
students
are ready to comprehend the information, the tutors can disseminate the knowledge more effectively, and
this
combined effort may result in a deep understanding of the course content.
This
dual work ultimately leads to academic
success
.
For example
, had many
students
and
teachers
of the government schools in India not put effort into their studies, the
students
would not be able to excel in the board examinations in 2023. In conclusion,
while
opinions vary on the reason to get academic
success
among
students
, I believe, the joint efforts of
teachers
and
students
can result in acquiring excellent marks in the finals by
students
.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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task achievement
Ensure to effectively balance the coverage of both views in the essay to provide a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
Aim to enrich your essay with more specific and varied supporting examples to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the reading flow.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your thesis statement effectively presents both sides of the argument and your opinion, providing a clear roadmap for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well articulated and supported with relevant examples, adding depth to your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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