Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities

this

new world that we live in, a

lot

of improvement has been made in the area of trading with the set up and diversification of supermarket in some nations making local shops unable to compete in the race. Some individuals opine that the close down of local shops would bring about the stop in local society

growth

Suggestion

grows

This

essay

intend

Suggestion

intends

is intended

to support the above view and

profer

marked by suitability or rightness or appropriateness

proper

reasons why.

Firstly

, local shops

are associated

Suggestion

is associated

with a

lot

of history and

comardeship

the quality of affording easy familiarity and sociability

comradeship

in small villages and towns.

This

is because a

lot

of them share history with the village.

This

makes it so essential in any small town.

For example

- some shops were opened the same year the town was established. And they are

know

Suggestion

known

to have

foster

Suggestion

fostered

lot

of relationships among the people in

such

villages.

Therefore foreclosure

Accept comma addition

Therefore, foreclosure

of said shops would lead to a death in the strength of the community and socialisation.

Furthermore

, small shops are known to cater well to the needs of the minority or resource-poor communities.

This

is because they sell mainly to the consumer and at affordable

prices unlike

Accept comma addition

prices, unlike

supermarket whose prices are fixed and at mostly high cost.

This

demonstrate

Suggestion

demonstrates

is demonstrated

why these small shops are needed to stay for without them the masses would suffer.

Although

supermarket

bring

Suggestion

brings

to a community variety in goods.

For instance

, foodstuffs and provision not available in small shops can be bought from them.

However these

Accept comma addition

However, these

Suggestion

are

a small ripple effect in the numerous advantages local shops

profer

like better; value more highly

prefer

. In conclusion, it is true that supermarkets are more and over-riding local shops in many nations today,

nevertheless

small

shops

Suggestion

shop's

history, built

relationship

Suggestion

relationships

a relationship

and affordability makes it

bad

Suggestion

worse

if closed down as it would most likely bring about a

break down

the act of disrupting an established order so it fails to continue

breakdown

in local community set-up.

Submitted by worshipenaibe on Tue Sep 17 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer neccessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?