IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and in the economic world. Others believe that sharing information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
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Firstly
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,
information
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 is very valuable in science, technology and in the real
world
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, often times it can be mishandled or mis-communicated by anyone resulting in dangerous situations like terrorism. In the business
world
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,
information
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 leak can make a company collapse,
for example
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, coke has a secret recipe and when shared freely, their competitors will take advantage of it resulting in the downfall of the institution.
Moreover
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, in the economic
world
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, one country
information
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 is secret to the other like the USA nuclear missile program is secret to rest of the
world
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.
However
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, it can be possible to sell based on some restrictions.
Furthermore
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,
information
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 when passed to wrong hands, like terrorists or protesters may result in mass destruction or bad situations like bombings. Turning on to the other side of the argument many people believe that info should be shared freely. In the scientific
world
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, it is true that the new findings or research should be promoted because science always make people live safe.
For example
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, when west Africa is suffering from Ebola, many doctors from other countries helped the local people with new research and medical facilities.
In Addition
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, they believe that the governments should release facts and figures to the public to reduce corruption and to increase transparency.
Finally
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, Internal people of business company think that they should know the all the info like their future goals helping them make career decisions. To sum up,
although
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 it looks very normal to share info, it can result in turmoil conditions regardless of individual, company or country. In the competitive
world
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, everyone wants to win their own game. In my opinion, I believe that some
information
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 like scientific findings can be open, but anything resulting in collapse or destruction of individual or institution should not be shared.
Submitted by Goutham on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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