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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates how many male and female workers were employed in British and Walsh
factories
Use synonyms
 in the years from 1851 to 1901. In general, the amount of male and female labours experienced a downward trend throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, but the account of
factories
Use synonyms
 significantly increased with a fluctuating trend. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 nearly half a million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male (287,100) and female (190,000) employees in 225
factories
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales.
In contrast
Linking Words
, these figures declined in total, 61,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the number of
factories
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 increased almost
three fold
Correct your spelling
threefold
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 to 600. In 1861, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of male workers rate slightly less than
females
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, it was 131,780 males and 160,000
females
Use synonyms
 in 227
factories
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 in the given countries. After a decade, both males (80,123) and
females
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 (60,000)
less
Add a missing verb
were less
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 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 previous
period
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, but the rate of
factories
Use synonyms
 increased to 622. In 1881 and 1891, the rate of male employees declined from 76,132 to 65,000
as well as
Linking Words
females
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50,000
Change preposition
from 50,000
show examples
 to 40,000 in the
factories
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of
factories
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales
also
Linking Words
 decreased from 722 to 625.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words factories, period, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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