IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that people who are over 60 years old should not work and should be made to retire. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #years #work
Should we allow elderly people above 60 on the job on not is a very big question for todays world? I mostly disagree with
this
 approach. Let me explain why I feel that way.
Firstly
, a lot of people work in private industry or owns a small family business where the government can't enforce
such
 rules and so it is out of the question for them. Given that if we enforce it on other people it will be kind of unfair to them.
Secondly
, our government does not have enough resources to provide pension to all
such
 people. In
such
 situation, working is the only option if they don't have savings.
Such
 forced rules will make their life harder.
Thirdly
, I have personally seen many people at age 60 who are very healthy and perfectly capable of working. Forcing them out of work is very counter productive.
Also
, boredom is one of the major concerns of elderly people. Sometimes all they need is some work to pass the time.
However
, many people feel that older workers are very inefficient in their jobs and it is best to replace them with younger folks. I suggest to reduce working hours for older workers in
such
 case. In many sectors like health industry, we don't have enough doctors available.
Such
 rule would make finding doctor's appointment extremely hard. In conclusion, I feel that forcing people out of a job is not a good option.
Such
 decision should be made on a case by case basis.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory retirement
  • workforce
  • innovation
  • retirement
  • well-being
  • experience
  • wisdom
  • discrimination
  • ageism
  • financial stability
  • flexible working arrangements
  • part-time work
  • consultant roles
  • mentorship programs
  • balanced view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: