Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people’s life, but artists are still valued high such as musicians, painters and writers.What can the arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?
Fast-paced advancement made everyone believe that its role in our lives is essential. At the same time,
art
is identically rated and obtained with factors, which science and technology are not able to present. Art
has left a profound mark in history and most interestingly, is also
known as an alternative remedy.
To start with, it is clear that
art
is more than just a beauty. It is a tool that anyone can use to express themselves and convey their feelings. Hence
, due to
this
distinctive feature, it has been known as healing therapy. Studies have already let
us know that,
it can render and positively foster mental diseases, like bipolar or depression. At the same time, in comparison with technologies, which cause a lot of stress in modern life, the Remove the comma
apply
art
facets such
as painting, sculpturing or crafting might be efficient and remedial in self-expression and emotional release.
Secondly
, art
originated during the later Stone Age and following those days it significantly developed. Throughout a prolonged period, every nation has evolved individual trends, for instance
, traditional customs, music, dance, poetry and painting. By taking a look at these masterpieces people can have a deep understanding of each other's cultural heritage and broaden their horizons. On behalf of that, art
is considered an invaluable mastery and museums all around the world curate ancient artefacts and uncover the rich, diverse history and extraordinary craftsmanship.
In conclusion, although
the digitised world invasively influences society, life without art
is almost impossible. It is a necessary source for human well-being and prosperity.Submitted by zhanerkenakhshbek on
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Enhancement
Consider elaborating more on specific examples to further illustrate your points, especially in the paragraph discussing art as therapy. Detailed examples can strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Fine-tuning
While your essay has a clear and logical structure, transitioning seamlessly from one point to the next, you can further improve coherence by linking your ideas more explicitly. Using transitional phrases or sentences can create smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, presenting the essay's main argument in a clear and engaging manner.
Key Argument
You have beautifully captured the essence of art's role in expressing emotions and healing, which science and technology cannot replicate.
Conclusion
The essay concludes strongly, reinforcing the importance of art in our lives and summarizing the arguments made in the body paragraphs convincingly.
Content Insight
Your discussion on how art helps us understand cultural heritage and broadens horizons is particularly insightful and adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.