Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it will cause some problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age

It is argued that population who works later at the

age

of 60, will cause some troubles. The essay agrees with

this

statement because older people have

weak immune system

Suggestion

a weak immune system

and are ineffective enough to fulfil one's duties in a working community. Having a healthy body is an important thing to consider when applying for a job. During at the retirement

age

, most individuals are not suitable enough in performing his or her

work

This

sentence was supported by Doc Willie Ong in an interview conducted to him through CNN Philippines

last

June 2018. At some time, these

group

Suggestion

groups

of people are more prone to different diseases because of having a weaker immune system. According to Dr.

Mayos

Suggestion

Mayor's

Mayors

clinic blog about geriatric patients, it says that about 85% of the population are doing regular check ups and having maintenance medicines. If the community allows these citizens to

work

, it could result

Suggestion

an increase health risk for them. Engaging in

work

requires a well fitted body and an attentive mind. How

does

Suggestion

does this group of individuals concentrate

does this group of individuals concentrates

this

group of individuals concentrates with their

work

when they are having the problem of remembering. According to a study conducted by the Cambridge University in 2012, entitled "How to Deal Pressure and Stress in a Working Environment ", it said that one's tension was due to the pressure in a working area. Having a lot of things to think and being

constrain

Suggestion

constrained

to the deadline of the task given can increase the menace of emotional sickness. Even young generations experience

this

situation, how much more will it result in an older

age

who are

more weaker

Suggestion

weaker

. If

this

happens, one's job will be affected in an unnecessary way. The

age

of 60 and above are considered senior citizens already.

This

is the time for elders where they should rest at their respective homes while enjoying the sunset or playing with their grandchildren. In conclusion, geriatric patients who still

work

this

age

can lead to a serious problem on their health both in physical and emotional being. Through

this

, the working place will

also

affected

Suggestion

affect

Submitted by gdtenebroso on Mon Sep 23 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

348 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it will cause some problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Task 2 Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves. Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion?

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes and effects of this change?

It is often said that crime is one of the main things that make the quality of life poorer. Crime in developed countries is one of the biggest problems in society. What are the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to reduce it?