The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The bar charts enumerate the
number
of
Catholics
who live in different nations in 2010 and 2013. The States taken into account are:
China
,
India
, Philippines, Vietnam, Korea and Japan.
According to
the graph, amongst the 6
countries
three of them had a raise of numbers in 2013 compared to 2010:
China
,
India
and Japan. For the other 3
countries
the
number
of
Catholics
is lower in 2013 than in 2010. On one hand, the country with the highest
number
of
Catholics
is Philippines by far. The specific nation in 2010 had over 75
million
of Catholic believers and in 2013 72
million
.
On the other hand
Japan is the country with the lowest
number
: 400,000 in 2010 and 509,000 in 2013. Regarding the other four
countries
,
China
and
India
in 2010 had more or less the same
number
of
Catholics
, between 9 and 10
million
.
Although
in 2013 the difference is bigger,
India
had 19
million
and
China
15
million
. The situation is similar for Vietnam and Korea, in 2010 both
countries
had around 5
million
of believers,
while
in 2013 Vietnam remained roughly with the same
number
.
On the contrary
Korea lost around 4
million
of
Catholics
in 2013. Some
companies
sponsor
sports
as a way to advertise themselves. Some
people
think it is good,
while
others think there are disadvantages to
this
. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. I strongly believe that for a
company
to
sponsor
specific
sports
in order to advertise themselves is definitely a good move. Some of the most famous advertising campaign are linked to
sports
.
In addition
, some
companies
have based their entire success on relating themselves to certain
sports
e.g. the energy drink Redbull sponsored all kind of extreme
sports
. Some
people
might think for some reasons that a
company
should avoid sponsoring
sports
. Maybe it is because some think that certain
companies
should remain an elite and linking themselves to
sports
mean to tarnish their images. Even more, some
people
might believe that it could turn into a bad investment since
companies
need to take big financial risks with huge investments to
sponsor
certain
sports
.
Therefore
,
according to
some it is better not to
sponsor
a
sport
at all. In my personal view,
companies
should
sponsor
sports
if they have the possibility to do so. It is not important whether the
company
produces sportswear e.g. Rolex with the most famous tennis player Roger Federer or the
company
AON with the football team Manchester United. Every fan of the specific
sport
makes the immediate link with a
sport
player or a team and a brand. By sponsoring a
sport
,
companies
have the possibility to show their brand to millions of
people
worldwide and often
this
tactic has a huge return in sales.
To conclude
, I strongly disagree with those who are contrary to the idea of
companies
sponsor
a
sport
. Millions of
people
watch different
sports
every single day and unconsciously a lot of them are hooked by some sponsors even if they do not realize it immediately.
People
love
sports
and they will keep watching them,
therefore
it is a great way for a
company
sponsor
a
sport
to advertise itself.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, therefore, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the tenth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, catholics, china, india, countries, million, companies, sponsor, sports, people, company, sport with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the tenth paragraph.
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