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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many Students take part-time jobs while studying in university. Do you think it is a good or bad idea?

#students #jobs #university #idea
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In
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
, living expenses are increasingly becoming exorbitant, especially for students. While some people are of opinion that part-time job plays a vital role in
Use synonyms
student's
Suggestion
a student's life
student's lives
the student's life
life
Use synonyms
,
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 are opposed to it.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 and drawbacks of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 while studying. A
traditional
Suggestion
tradition
 and common belief is that students should
only focus on in
Suggestion
only focus on
 their education. Even though the part-time
work
Use synonyms
 have monetary and other
benefits but
Accept comma addition
benefits, but
 it
also
Linking Words
 leads to
tirredness
temporary loss of strength and energy resulting from hard physical or mental work
tiredness
 at the same time which causes
huge distraction
Suggestion
a huge distraction
 in studies. To put in
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 words, part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and studies together leads to
stressful lifestyle
Suggestion
a stressful lifestyle
stressful lifestyles
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it has generally been seen that, college days should be more enjoyable with basic
cautions
a positively charged ion
cations
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, due to
above
Suggestion
the above
-mentioned disadvantages some people believe that part-time jobs degrades the
student
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are numerous positives of working part-time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if the
student
Use synonyms
 is not
financial
Suggestion
financially
 strong, it makes them partial dependent and less burdensome on their family.
For instance
Linking Words
, majority number of international students manage their daily expenses
such
Linking Words
 as food, groceries
,
Accept space
,
 and travel expenses with their part-time income.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these students often become more confident with time and
tackles
Suggestion
tackle
complex situation
Suggestion
complex situations
 gracefully. Though managing part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and studies together become very
hectic but
Accept comma addition
hectic, but
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle
teachs
impart skills or knowledge to
teaches
Use synonyms
student
Suggestion
students
the student
 a greater lesson for
life
Use synonyms
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.e.
time
Suggestion
Time
 management and value for money.
Hence
Linking Words
, due to
such
Linking Words
 advantages part-time
work
Use synonyms
 should never be ignored by
stutents
a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution
students
,
infact
constituting the undiminished entirety; lacking nothing essential especially not damaged
intact
infarct
 families must encourage their child to grab part-time opportunities of
work
Use synonyms
. To conclude, there are few disadvantages of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 which leads to stressful
Use synonyms
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 I
strong
Suggestion
strongly
 believe that there are enormous benefits which
cleary
without doubt or question
clearly
outwighs
be heavier than
outweighs
outweigh
 the negatives of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 while studying.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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