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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#cities #people #apartment #blocks #accommodation
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Vertical building has been increasingly witnessed among
last
 decades. In many cities,
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of people are moving to multi-story building apartments. In my opinion,
this
 type of
accommodation
 is often
cheaper but
Accept comma addition
cheaper, but
 carries more disadvantages of less outdoor area and serious
fire
 risk. With the increase of population and rising prices of properties, people are unable to buy land and always look for cheap
accommodation
. In compound architecture, on one piece of land, many houses can be created and sold
on
Suggestion
at
 budget.
Thus it
Accept comma addition
Thus, it
 can fulfil your dream of living in
big
Suggestion
bigger
 and developed cities.
However
, it
devoids
separate into parts or portions
divides
 people of the leisure of open space. Usually people love to spend their free time in
outdoor area
Suggestion
the outdoor area
outdoor areas
 and want to feel unburdened from
daily busy life
Suggestion
the daily busy life
 with activities like reading
newspaper
Suggestion
the newspaper
a newspaper
newspapers
, exercising, take
sub
expose one's body to the sun
sun
 bath or just sitting silently with the company of trees. Thereby, apartment blocks can surely cramp the living space for humans. Another demerit of living in multi-story buildings is that it offers
serious
Suggestion
a serious fire risk
fire
 risk. Unfortunately, If
fire
 erupts in one house, it can spread easily to others in a fraction of
second
Suggestion
a second
 and becomes difficult to escape due to
large
Suggestion
the large
 no of floor in it.
Few months
Suggestion
A few months
 back, a
fire
 broke out in a high rise building, a coaching
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
,
at
Suggestion
in
 Gujrat where
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of students could not escape though main gate and had to jump from the roof, thereby lead to their death. So
fire
 poses
serious threat
Suggestion
a serious threat
 to
this
 type of
accommodation
. In conclusion, large blocks offer cheaper
accommodation
 but it
also
 provides lower quality
accommodation
 with serious
fire
 risk and discouraging some people to choose them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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