IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show how tourism to two countries changed over a 50-year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #tourism #two #countries #-year #period #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The four pie charts compare the proportions of tourists visited from four different countries
to
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apply
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Australia
 and
Germany
 in the years
of
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apply
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1960 and 2010.
Overall
, in the period of
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
,
Europeans
 were
the
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apply
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dominant in both countries,
while
Asians
 were the significant visitors to
Australia
 in 2010,
Europeans
 remained top in
Germany
 after 50 years. In 1960, the most number of visitors to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
 and
Germany
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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Europeans
 with 53% and 45% respectively.
Britain
 people were the
second
 highest commuters to
the
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apply
show examples
Australia
, with a quarter of
proportion
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the proportion
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, which
exactly
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is exactly
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same
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the same
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 as the
USA
 travellers in
the
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apply
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Germany
.
However
,
Germany
 had 20% of the
Britain
 tourists,
10
Correct word choice
and 10
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%
of
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the
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Asians
. The
USA
 people and
Asians
 were the least significant in
commute
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commuting
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 to
the
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Australia
, with 12% and 10%. In 2010,
Asians
 dominated
by
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show examples
all other countries in
Australia
, with 63%,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
Correct article usage
the Europeans
show examples
Europeans
Replace the word
European
show examples
 percentage sharply declined from 53%to 10%, which was a major drop in
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 tourism. From
Britain
 and the
USA
, visitors experienced a fall of 5%.
On the other hand
,
Europeans
 decreased to 40% in
Germany
, still remained top among others. It is interesting to note that, the
Asians
Replace the word
Asian
show examples
 percentage increased from 10% to 25% as compared to the
USA
 from 25% to 29%.
Britain
 was the low country, only 6% contributed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
German tourism.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, germany, europeans, asians, britain, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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