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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

#british #australian #laws #jury #case #access #information #defendant #record #person #crime #lawyers #practice #facts #decision
There has been a long debate about the allocation of
health
 budget on
treatment
 and prevention. Some people argue that
large proportion
Suggestion
a large proportion
 of budget should be spent on
treatment whereas
Accept comma addition
treatment, whereas
 some oppose
this
 view point. I believe that more
money
 should be spent on
health
 education and preventive measures than on
treatment
. The argument will be
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, spending more
money
 on
health
 education and preventive
measures
Suggestion
measure
 results in
more economical situation
Suggestion
a more economical situation
more economical situations
the more economical situation
 in the long run. In
such
 case, people will be more aware
to
Suggestion
of
 their
health
 and try to avoid malicious diseases. We all know that the
treatment
 cost of the diseases like heart attack, cancer
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
are
Suggestion
is
 exorbitantly high and common people in developing countries even can't afford to treat these diseases.
Thus
, it is clear that why we should give more importance to
prevention
Suggestion
prevent
 than cure. The
second
 important reason about spending
money
 on preventive measures is that by doing
so we
Accept comma addition
so, we
 would create a healthy and sound
environment
 in the community.
For example
, there used to be no toilets in some of the remote villages in Nepal. Many people would suffer from several diseases and the
environment
 of community was extremely awful. But after the
health
 campaign was introduced and the villagers were warned about the potential consequences of open toilet, they built the toilets in their home.
As a result
, the
environment
 of
village
Suggestion
the village
villages
 became sound and clean. In conclusion, we should spend sufficient amount of
money
 on
treatment
too but
Accept comma addition
too, but
high proportion
Suggestion
a high proportion
the high proportion
 of
amount
Suggestion
the amount
 should be spent on
health
 education and preventive measures so that we can live
on
Suggestion
in
healthy
Suggestion
a healthy environment
healthy environments
environment
 with less price.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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