IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #libraries #waste #resources #money #computers
Although
 it is thought by many that traditional libraries should be upgraded by the digital libraries because they consume a lot of money and expenditure, others disagree.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that
although
this
 development will reduce the human resource need for assistance and their expenses, the increased use of
computer
 screens would raise many health issues. On the one hand, if computers were added to the libraries,
then
 the need for maintenance staff would become redundant.
This
 is to say, the staff is required for running a library, and receive high remunerations in return for their services
such
 as help in finding books from shelves. Because electronic devices will enable people to search a book on their own without any assistance, the monetary budget allocated for the salaries of workers will be saved.
For instance
, in Germany, the average wage of a librarian is 3000 euros per month, which is a burden on the administration as the popularity of libraries is declining at a staggering rate.
However
, I consider that computers are liable to repair, and require maintenance
staff which
Accept comma addition
staff, which
 will increase the overall expense.
On the other hand
, increased screen-time can cause discomfort to the reader. As many people are not comfortable with reading books on
computer
 screens, so they will suffer from several ailments
such
 as fatigue and eyesight issues. All levels of radiation from
computer
 screens are below levels that can cause eye damage
such
 as cataracts. I agree that it is not in everyone's capacity to survive with the harmful rays emitted from electronic devices.
For example
, a recent survey report published in the Daily Times revealed that 56% of people suffering from dry-eye syndrome are excessive
computer
 users. To conclude,
although
 people may vary in their opinions, I think that computers will require IT professionals for running a database, it can
also
 affect the health of people as well

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repository
  • cultural hub
  • community engagement
  • digital divide
  • inequality
  • sustainable
  • affordability
  • technological advancement
  • information retrieval
  • hybrid resources
  • social interaction
  • evolution of libraries
  • complementary
  • access to information
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