IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

saving is a good habit for an individual after retirement . do u agree or disagree? Give reasons and relevant examples in favour of your statement.

#habit #retirement #favour
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A penny saved
in a penny earned
Suggestion
a penny earned
. It is true that saving is
wiseful
being of use or service
useful
 and practical and can help to humankind future expenditure
.
Accept space
.
I do not agree that saving after
retirement
Use synonyms
 is quite convenient for persona
.
Accept space
.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
I believe that
human being
Suggestion
human beings
a human being
 should save
money
Use synonyms
 during the early year of their employment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
,
Accept space
,
people after
retirement
Use synonyms
 do not have any permanent jobs which are the main sources of regular income and savings.All retired people
,
Accept space
,
for example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
in most of the developing and underdeveloped countries
such
Linking Words
 as India
,
Accept space
,
Bangladesh
,
Accept space
,
Sri_Lanka
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 can not manage jobs. As a consequence
,
Accept space
,
they have to maintain their lives with the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 that have got as
pansion
a regular payment to a person that is intended to allow them to subsist without working
pension
pensions
passion
 and in the form of other
retirement
Use synonyms
 benefits and these hardly
scope
Suggestion
scopes
 for them to save any amount.
Although
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
some diseases make
nest
Suggestion
nests
 in their bodies as they grow old which make them delicate
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 they have to run after doctor very frequently let alone engage
work
Suggestion
the work
a work
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have to allocate
good chunk
Suggestion
a good chunk
 of their
money
Use synonyms
 for health care purposes which certainly limit their savings. Retired people,
moreover
Linking Words
, are expected to spend their
times
Suggestion
time
 with family members which they cannot do the same while working at work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
saving after
retirement
Use synonyms
 has had a positive impact for some skilled senior citizens in the society.Retired people, in fact, are free from family expenditure as their children have grown up by the time when they retire from the jobs. As their expenditure
largely reduce
Suggestion
largely reduces
 that
result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
 can concentrate on savings
.
Accept space
.
Some professionals
,
Accept space
,
for instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
namely doctors
,
Accept space
,
engineers and so on can engage themselves in part time jobs as
welll
(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard ('good' is a nonstandard dialectal variant for 'well')
well
 as full time work.People who can earn handsome amount of
money
Use synonyms
 after retiring from
job
Suggestion
a job
the job
 can concentrate
of
Suggestion
on
 savings. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
savings after
retirement
Use synonyms
 is thoroughly impractical and nonsensical indeed
,
Accept space
,
as people get old
,
Accept space
,
bored
,
Accept space
,
tired and miss
opportunities
Suggestion
the opportunities
 of getting on
engaged
Suggestion
engaging
 themselves in
money
Use synonyms
 generating jobs.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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