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Band 4

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this ? what solutions can you suggest ?

#years #rise #crimes #people #cities
A noticeable upsurge in the number of juvenile delinquencies has been observed recently and the emerging concept of nuclear families
,
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,
 in which
,
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,
also
, both parents are busy, increased socioeconomic stress and the impact of recreational activities being adapted in the modern world are some of the underlying factors to be blamed for
this
 state. It is the need of
hour
Suggestion
the hour
 that the individuals and the government should step forward and play their role in minimizing
this
 problem. These days, people prefer to live in nuclear families in which the children live with their parents only.
Such
 children
,
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,
 most of the time
,
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,
 are deprived of adequate care that they require at that tender of learning and character building as in most of these families
,
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,
both parents toil from dawn to dusk to fulfil the material requirements of their children and themselves and
also
 to cope with the increasing competition they have to face in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
.
Consequently
, the children are neglected and are not taught properly to differentiate right from
wrong
Suggestion
wrong, thus
thus
 they get into
wrong doings
Suggestion
the wrong doings
 like getting indulged in offences. Previously, when the idea of joint families was more popular
,
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,
 even if the parents weren't available, grandparents would look after the children and would bring them up
this
 the number of illegal acts among teenagers was quite low.
This
 still holds true for certain countries like
Pakistan where
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Pakistan, where
 the concept of joint families is still alive to some extent. Another factor
that is
 attributable to the present day increase in teenager offences is the present day popularity of certain video games and programmes. A recent recent divulged the fact that certain video games
such
 as IGI and PUBG
,
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,
 that are based on violence, have a significant effect on the neurological activities of the brain and these tend to tempt the children towards violent activities, which, intern, increase the delinquency rates among the very same people when they grow up a bit. In order to put a halt to
this
 extremely important problem, individuals need to pay keen attention towards the brought of their children. No wonder, fulfilling material needs of their children is
important
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important, however
however
 some alternatives
,
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,
 like admitting their children into some authorized child bringing up facilities like day care centres
,
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,
 where these children will be given utmost care is important. The government needs to step forward in building up these facilities and should
also
 ban
such
 means of recreation like video games which can increase violence.
Submitted by kh.sara96 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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