Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#life #expectancy #people #workforce

Nowadays, everyone

want

Suggestion

wants

their life is much easier than before.

some

Suggestion

Some

people believe that elderly people should continue to be involved in the workforce. I partially agree with

this

statement and I will explain my views in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, there are many reasons of older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. The

first

and the foremost is old people can do jobs because some elderly people like to do work in their free time.

Moreover

, older people

plays

Suggestion

play

an important role in jobs because they can judge the.

Youngers

knowledge and they face many challenges in their life. So, they have more

experineced

having experience; having knowledge or skill from observation or participation

experienced

people as well as they take a right decision for any work because they observed more experience.

Therefore

, they do not make mistakes in taking a decision as compared to

youngers

used of the younger of two persons of the same name especially used to distinguish a son from his father

younger

For example

mostly

Suggestion

most

business organized by

oldish

people

such

as MDH species business is composed by

oldish

person and

this

business is famous in

whole world

Suggestion

the whole world

On the other hand

, there are some demerits of older people involved in the workforce. The

first

and the foremost is

oldish

people take some rest in their home because mostly elderly people suffer from some

heath

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

problems like stress, physical problems and

many

Suggestion

much

more. In additional to

this

government

Suggestion

the government

allocate

Suggestion

allocates

a pension system for

oldish

people. So, older people do not look for jobs they can easily stay in their homes and enjoy life with their families. But, some elderly people have

responsibility

Suggestion

the responsibility

responsibilities

of their families so in some situation

oldish

people can do

jobs

Suggestion

the jobs

. To conclude, jobs are important to everyone. Government

should be encourage

Suggestion

should encourage

should be encouraged

businesses to create a more jobs which

is besed

Suggestion

are based

is based

is best

is blessed

on younger and elder people.

Submitted by njasrotiya on Fri Sep 27 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
workforce
mentorship
mental and physical health
community engagement
rapidly changing work environments
economic stability
age discrimination
workplace adjustments
financial strain
pension systems
diversifying
creativity
problem-solving
retirement norms
flexible working hours
part-time positions

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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impacts on environment and on people who lost their job because of it.

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