IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressure?

#children #pressure #perspectives #pressures #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
, youngsters are living their lives under the burden of their education
,
Accept space
,
society and economy, which
further
Linking Words
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 their personal and professional life.
This
Linking Words
 essay would aim at verifying the reasons of
this
Linking Words
pressure
Use synonyms
 before suggesting the solutions in the subsequent fragments. Among the several responsible causes for stressful lifestyle of children. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost cause is cut throat competition in the f
noield
require as useful, just, or proper
need
 of education. As in
this
Linking Words
 hard and fast time parents are more concerned about the future of their children.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they always pressurized their wards to secure high grades in the academic studies.
Consequently
Linking Words
, which makes the child more stressed. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, peer
pressure
Use synonyms
 to maintain
a
Suggestion
an
 up to date status in terms of fashion and lifestyle has been considered as a one of the
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 imperative
causes
an occurrence of something
cases
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
increase
Suggestion
an increase
the increase
 in the competition and influence of fashion icons and their affluent age mates are the major reasons of
pressure
Use synonyms
 on youngsters. By considering the seriousness of
this
Linking Words
 matter appropriate measures must be taken out.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to reduce the
pressure
Use synonyms
 from youngsters, guardians should have to understand the strength of their wards.
Although
Linking Words
, they might not be successful to get
highest marks
Suggestion
the highest marks
 in studies, yet they should encourage them to find their strength in other field rather than put a burden on them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents should make their wards mentally strong by inculcating moral values into them.
Hence
Linking Words
, they can be able to make themselves understood rather than take
pressure
Use synonyms
 under the influence of their peer- groups. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 advance world, one has to take
pressure
Use synonyms
 in order to get success, but the young age is the period of life to choose the right direction for their upcoming life by getting appreciation and advice from their elders. Thereby, it is the prime responsibility of mentors to encourage their child in all aspects.
Submitted by deepawalisharma43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: