Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that parents are the main culprit
for
Suggestion
in
the obesity of their children and should be held accountable.
This
essay disagrees with the given statement because parents are not around their children all the time and the sedentary lifestyle of the children is a personal choice. Parents cannot be around their children during
school
to prevent them from eating unhealthy
food
. It is very common for children to bring
food money
Accept comma addition
food, money
instead
of bringing lunch from home. In
school children
Accept comma addition
school, children
prefer snacks and junk
food
instead
of homemade lunch because junk
food
is more palatable. A study conducted in 2017 in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
showed that 65% of
food
intake of
school
going children mainly contained snacks and instant
food
.
Moreover
, with the introduction of digital games children prefer to stay
indoor
within a building
indoors
and play video-games rather than going outside to participate in activities that require physical effort making the children lazier and more inactive. The reduced amount of exercise decreases their stamina and overall health condition making them FAT. Children do not have any energy they are lethargic and prefer to lay in bed most of the time.
For example
a recent study showed that the rates of students actively taking part in extracurricular activities have dropped significantly. In conclusion, the
school
plays a greater role in
prevention
Suggestion
the prevention
of child obesity than parents because children spend more time at
school
than their parents and schools can implement certain laws that allow only healthy
food
to be served at
cafeteria
Suggestion
the cafeteria
and give incentives to students so that they participate more in physical activities.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
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