IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree on disagree?

#people #prison #sentences #criminals #education #job
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Prison
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 sentences and on which circumstances, these sentences are used have become highly contentious issues. Some people argue that a
prison
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 sentence is the most effective way when it comes to deal with crimes and criminals; while others have the opinion that criminals should be supported educationally, socially and economically. I mostly agree that different ways should be applied rather than
prison
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 sentences.
However
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, I think that whether a criminal is sentenced to
prison
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 or supported with different ways depends on the type of the
crime
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. One one hand, each
crime
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 should have a punishment regardless of its type and the way it is committed, which is a must when placing an order and trust in a society. It is the belief in justice that makes people live peacefully knowing that every
crime
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 has its own punishment
thus
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 preventing he majority of people from becoming violent.
On the other hand
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, alternative routes could be followed for criminals except for certain crimes which are murder, child abuse and hate
crime
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. They should be offered some ways rather than
prison
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such
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 as rehabilitation, public service, education, job offerings and social adaptation that could help them adapt to the society and be a part of it. A recent research conducted by The United Nations Commission on
Crime
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 Prevention has stated that in many countries, imprisonment rates are rising each day and there will be no place in the
next
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 decade if the policy is not altered. Leaving people in isolation in prisons, to me, could not make significant changes.
Instead
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, criminals should be allowed to get an education to help them find job opportunities and if needed psychological assistance has to be given. In conclusion, there are three crimes that do not allow any solution but
prison
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.
Nevertheless
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, in my honest opinion, other criminals should be subsidised with varied facilities to place them in society
thus
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 leading their lives away from violence.
Submitted by ozdenizmelisa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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