Some people believe that the women should play an equal role as men in country’s police and military fierce, such as army, while others, think women are not suitable for these king of work. Discuss and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, more women are joining in
nation’s
Suggestion
the nation’s
a nation’s
military and
police
Use synonyms
forces and have
contribute
Suggestion
contributed
significantly at both
war
Use synonyms
sites as well as civil regions.
However
Linking Words
, some people believe women can’t
work
Use synonyms
in
Suggestion
with
these forces due to physical hardships. In the following passage, I will explain the important needs for women to be employed before declaring my stance. At present, increasing number of women showing interest to
work
Use synonyms
in
Suggestion
on
with
country’s military force is an eccentric change happening in our country. As they undergo various trainings to empower them to
work
Use synonyms
in any situations gives you both mental and physical stability to embrace the challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, in US military force many women have played
vital role
Suggestion
a vital role
during
Iraq
Suggestion
the Iraq war
war
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
shows that they are capable enough to
work
Use synonyms
in
war
Use synonyms
sites.
In addition
Linking Words
, for both army civil and administration departments are employed with women employees.
Therefore
Linking Words
, even though there is
enormous physical strain
Suggestion
an enormous physical strain
in the
war
Use synonyms
sites, with the advance training programmes will aid them to
work
Use synonyms
any locations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, women play a significant role in
Use synonyms
police forces
Suggestion
the police forces
as they need to handle women offenders.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent robbery case in Chennai, 2 women
were suspected
Suggestion
was suspected
, and taken
to
Suggestion
into
custody, in
such
Linking Words
instance women
Suggestion
instance, women
police
Use synonyms
are
effective
Suggestion
effectively
used to interrogate them to prevent from any sensitive issue if they were handled by
men
Suggestion
a man police team
man police team
police
Use synonyms
team.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is believed that they have
better
Suggestion
the best
view in analysing criminal cases.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is assumed women are greatly required to handle woman criminals and to investigate the case with
different approach
Suggestion
a different approach
different approaches
. To conclude,
few decades
Suggestion
a few decades
ago, people were hesitant of women joining nation’s military forces, but the situation has changed, where they are trained to
work
Use synonyms
any situations and they can contribute effectively too.
Submitted by muxamadaminabdulloyev on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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