E. Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#e #say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

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It is believed by some that

music

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art

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and

drama

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are as significant as other

school

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subjects

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, particularly in early years of education. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

because all these

activities

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help

children

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to develop their fine and gross motor skills, and they

also

Linking Words

enhance their creativity skills. Development of fine and gross motor skills is a vital aspect that needs to be considered in

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

years of education rather than focusing more on other

school

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subjects

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Children

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's engagement in

music

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art

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and

drama

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experiences encourages the body movement and makes them more active. During these

activities

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, their repetitive body movements encourage the constant use of soft and hard muscles of the body. Take developed countries

such

Linking Words

as Australia, Canada and the USA as an example, these are nations known for their play-based learning curriculum based on

music

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art

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and

drama

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learning experiences to support

children

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's physical development, particularly,

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

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early age, and focus less on academic

subjects

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This

Linking Words

is why they are far ahead of other countries in these fields. Expansion and enrichment of

children

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's creativity is the other significant advantage of teaching

music

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art

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and

drama

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in schools as other

school

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subjects

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. If they are encouraged to take part in these

activities

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at an early age, they stimulate their intrusive mind. With

this

Linking Words

, they may try to find alternative ways to do one thing. Once

this

Linking Words

habit is developed, they will try to apply it in almost all tasks in their day-to-day life.

For instance

Linking Words

, during these

activities

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children

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try to express their thoughts with their actions, gestures and onto a piece of paper

while

Linking Words

doing

art

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. They do

this

Linking Words

with the freedom and create things beyond any limitation. In conclusion, I believe that

music

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art

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and

drama

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play a crucial role in

children

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's lives, and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be

important

Rephrase

as important

show examples

as other

school

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subjects

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because they contribute

Change preposition

show examples

their physical development, and

also

Linking Words

enhance their creativity by expanding the horizon of their knowledge.

Submitted by meghnabawa91 on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure that you fully address the prompt and develop your main points with more specific, contextual examples that underscore your argument. While the essay contains a clear position and relevant examples, they can be further detailed to solidify your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay possesses a clear overall progression, with an evident introduction and conclusion. However, varied and more sophisticated linking devices could be employed to create a stronger connection between ideas within and between paragraphs, thereby enhancing logical flow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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E. Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods( television, microwave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach to teaching?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

"Some people believe that technological advancements have improved our lives significantly, while others argue that technology has brought more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion."