Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

Throughout history, it has never been so easy to bring people from different cultures together. People from different ages have

also

had problems understanding each other and getting together.

Music

is considered as one of the beneficial solutions which can solve the problem that people from different cultures and ages have in gathering together. By my reckoning,

music

by not belonging to

certain group

Suggestion

a certain group

certain groups

of people is the remedy to

mentioned

Suggestion

mention

problem

Suggestion

the problem

. Whether as an audience or as a player most of the time

music

makes people do some group activities.

Although

some genres appeal to a certain group of people,

others

Accept comma addition

others, such

such

as pop or jazz are accepted by many people from different cultures or age groups. In concert revenues, it can be seen that people, regardless of their ages or cultures stand or sit

to each other and enjoy the

music

they love.

Similarly in

Accept comma addition

Similarly, in

music

bands

also

usually there either an age limit nor any restrictions for people from different cultures to join the band. In some

cases composers

Accept comma addition

cases, composers

even fuse the kinds of

music

from different cultures which most of times the players of the songs are the ones who belong to those cultures.

For example

, The Silent City is a

music

track which includes Iranian traditional instrument Kamanche and

also

other western instruments

such

violin, cello and etc.

However

, in some cultures, musicians prefer to keep their

music pure

Accept comma addition

music, pure

and do not combine any other foreign musical instruments with their traditional

music

. To conclude, by considering

music

as an activity

that is

done in groups most of the time, it can be a beneficial way to bring people together regardless of what they believe or do or what age they are at.

Sat Sep 28 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Fully explain your ideas

some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?