IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Recently, there has been a heated debate as to whether
animals
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 should be kept in
zoos
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 or not.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that
zoos
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 should be closed because they promote cruelty to
animals
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, others are of the opinion that they are beneficial in order to protect some species of
animals
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 from going into extinction.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument. In my opinion,
animals
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 should be kept in
zoos
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 so as to protect them
as well as
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 the public. A growing number of
people
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 have argued that keeping
of
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apply
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animals
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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zoos
Use synonyms
 is an inhumane move.
Such
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group
Correct article usage
a group
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 believes that these
animals
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also
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 have a right to freedom,
hence
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 they should be permitted to live wherever they desire.
In addition
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, living in the zoo not only disrupts the natural habitats of these
animals
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,
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 but
also
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 leads to an imbalance in our ecosystem. Take the case of turtles as an example, they are known to live in far
forest
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forests
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,
bringing
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and bringing
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 them to another space may feel strange to them.
However
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, these arguments have been countered by another group of
people
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 who are of the opinion that
animals
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 should be kept in
zoos
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. By doing
this
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, the endangered species of
animals
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 are preserved and
such
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 generation can continue to exist.
Furthermore
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, keeping
animals
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 in
zoos
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 protects the public from the potential harm of these wild
animals
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.
For instance
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, having Lions roam about in the streets can be a
life threatening
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life-threatening
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 commotion. Another point is that
zoos
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 serve as a source of
generating
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apply
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income for the government
as well as
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 a means of entertainment for the public. In conclusion,
this
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 essay has examined both sides of the argument. Ultimately,
although
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 keeping
animals
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
 disrupts their natural habitat, it poses more benefits to the public and the government.

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task response
Ensure that the essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument in an organized manner. Use clear and direct language to present and support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview and a concise summary of the discussed points. However, ensure that the paragraph structure and transitions help guide the reader through the essay.
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