IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

2. Some people think children should have mobile phones, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

#people #children #phones
Modern world dictating the rapid development of mobile phones and changing accessibility for the children. Cellular phones by some people are suitable for the children, whether others don't share the same opinion. I will explain the positive and negative view of the phone usage by children. I agree that parents need to allow children to have mobile phones. The
first
 to mention is that rapid technology growth, changing childhood rapidly. Today young humans are most often exposed to mobile phones
instead
 of playing outside, which could reflect on their health in the future.
For example
, children can use the phone if they need to call adults from school or on the way home if something happened. In my opinion, pros when children using and possess phones on the proper habitude and if they are supervised by their parents. General disagreement that children needs to have a mobile phones contradict with firs group.
Furthermore
, most of the parents can't control all children's behaviour because they are trying to protect them from different circumstances in what they can be involved.
For example
, we can see a lot of children how they are using too many social networks. I can gather the decisions to forbid younger children over usage of the phones in wrong purpose, but I disagree with a total ban. In conclusion, technology innovation has an important role for the people, but children need to be controlled by the mobile phone usage.
Also
, always we can look both sides as positive or negative approach, but my overall opinion supporting children to use phones but must be balanced and controlled by adults.
Submitted by darko.abramovic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: