Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Is it difficult to define?How can people achieve happiness

It is advocated that

Accept space

happiness

is priceless. Meaning of Joy is impossible to illustrate as criteria of pleasure is different for every individual. Some people think that gaining

desired job

Suggestion

a desired job

in their profession is

happiness but

Accept comma addition

happiness, but

others relate their loving family as a bliss of

life

. In my

opinion it

Accept comma addition

opinion, it

depends upon individual. To embark on, many people grade wealth as source of Joy for mankind in

this

material world. On the

otherhand we

Accept comma addition

other hand, we

other hand we

have seen individuals happy and satisfied after getting professional intimacy without considering

financial benefits

Suggestion

the financial benefits

they get from it.

For instance

, a doctor works hard throughout his

life achieving

Accept comma addition

life, achieving

perfection in his specific clinical domain and curing the sick regardless of peace or war. All of his Joy and satisfaction is in saving

life

of patients and job

fulfillment

a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires

fulfilment

, regardless of his earnings.

As a result

; one can define professional achievement as person's major criteria of

happiness

On the other hand

Accept space

some people rank their family

highest as their

Suggestion

as their highest

source of pleasure, regardless of funds in their pocket.

This

colour of joy is scattered

every where

to or in any or all places

everywhere

in our society.

For instance

labouror

someone who works with their hands; someone engaged in manual labor

labourer

labour or

CEO

Suggestion

the CEO

of a company work hard to just

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

the need of their dependents. Looking family members satisfied and growing is eternal joy for them.

Infact

Suggestion

In fact

factor which influences

life

of most people with

happiness

is having a loving, cheerful and peaceful family. Prosperous and happy family is considered as a wealth itself. To conclude, money though an essential aspect of

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

it cannot guarantee of joy and

happiness

. Pleasure can be found through many other means as professional satisfaction as well as

loving family

Suggestion

a loving family

Accept space

If more people strived in

life

towards true

happiness

rather than money, the world could be a better place for mankind.

Mon Sep 30 2019

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Is it difficult to define?How can people achieve happiness

Your opinion

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What should be done to solve this?

Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing. Why do you think it is happening? How can this problem be solved?

Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some high schools have a requirement that students must complete a certain amount of volunteer work in order to graduate. What do you think about this type of requirement? Give details to support your opinion.