IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
Crime
Suggestion
A crime
 is anything which is illegal according to
law
Suggestion
the law
. Regardless of thinking about punishments related to
crime
 as defined in law, criminal activities are increasing
on
Suggestion
in
 every part of the world. There are many causes of
crime
. The main and most important cause of
crime
 is Economic situation of
one
country
 and
this
 cause will be discussed
further
on
Suggestion
in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, employability plays an important role in the growth of
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 of
one
country
.
Similarly
, if the unemployment ratio of
one
country
 is high,
this
 can significantly impact the overall economy. As people will be jobless, they will find negative methods to generate income by committing criminal activity in spite of thinking about its negative impacts.
Secondly
, low purchasing power and high inflation rate
also plays
Suggestion
also play
 an important role to surge the criminal activities of
one
country
.
For instance
,
prices
Suggestion
the prices
 of every
products
Suggestion
product
 are not the same as 10 years ago and
this
 is because of
increase
Suggestion
the increase
an increase
 in inflation rate. Even though prices of
products
Suggestion
the products
 are increasing, income generated by
employed
Suggestion
employing
 people
are
Suggestion
is
 low. Thereby, in order to buy products that are necessary for their living, they are forced to do
crime
. According to me, Controlling Economic situation of
one
country
 is the responsibility of
Country
’s Government both in the sense of Macro and Micro. In order to increase the employability and reduce
crime
, government should reduce the interest rate of loans to attract more investments. These investments will
results
Suggestion
result
 in the reduction of unemployment and definitely
crime
Suggestion
a crime
.
Similarly
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should
also
 develop an educational institutions to gain and
improvise
to make better
improves
 the skills.
Consequently
,
this
 will result in the increase the purchasing power of the people and undoubtedly, reduce the
crime
 of
one
country
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: